Have you ever wondered what you could do that would place you around the largest group of Affliction wearing, PBR drinking, douchebags? Well, I did it on Saturday!
Welcome to the 2017 Tour de Biere in Oklahoma City. Where 750 complete douchenozzle ass-hats come together to drink really, really bad beer and act like thirteen year old children while riding their bikes around Oklahoma City.
If your wardrobe consists of nothing but wife-beaters, Affliction tshirts, jeans with “fancy” back pockets, or you wear a ball cap that reads, “The tighter the better,” this is the event for you.
There are a couple of requirements:
- You must smoke and then complain how hard it is to ride your bike!
- You must be loud and obnoxious everywhere you go.
- Tattoos are a must; full sleeves make you popular!
- Steroid abuse is mandatory.
- Still living your frat-boy days in your thirties is your LIFE!
I was talked into this ride by a girl who then never showed up. I bought the tickets so what the hell was I to do? I had to go.
Other than the TDB, I had a pretty uneventful weekend. Oklahoma City experienced it’s one single nice day of the year where the temperature is perfect and the wind is blowing an easy 5mph. It was a perfect day for a hungover bike ride so we took off for a 20 miler around the lake.
I hope your weekend was filled with something fun…..sans douchebags!